I don't talk about mr gp aka not sawyer aka Eric much...He is a good man and wonderful dad but at times lacking in the husband department. I love him yet sometimes wonder if I am still in love with him. Without going into the personal details of our marriage I will just say we have some serious ups and downs...
So I rented the movie Fireproof-no the acting isn't stellar but this is a movie with a message and the message was POWERFUL.
I saw parts of myself in both the main characters Caleb and Catherine, I watched with an open mind and had no expectations, by the end of the movie I was sobbing and knew I must do something-I am tired of going through the motions as my life pasts me by...so at 1am I dared myself to take The Love Dare A 40-day experiment.
This isn't about changing Eric-this is about changing myself- up there when I said he was lacking in the husband dept, well I am lacking in the wife dept-this movie made me take a long, hard look at myself and I didn't like what I saw.
So once a week I will be posting a Love Dare-if you want to follow along and perhaps apply the Love Dare to your life feel free to... the comment box will be open for discussions OR if you are doing this on your blog leave me a link so I can come and support you...
Have you seen the movie? What did you think?
Day 1
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. --Ephesians 4:2 NIV
Dare:
The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret.
My confession for today: It's time to turn into a Stylist...Winter Formal is here...Pictures will be posted tonight
ooooooo I LOVED that movie!
ReplyDeleteIt really did make you stop and think.
I think I will take the dare with you. Hubs and I have been together 7 years and sometimes it feels like we are just going through the motions of marriage.
I'll take that dare with you, too. It is so easy to get complacent and not pay attention to your marriage. Thanks, Georgie.
ReplyDeleteI think I'll take the dare right along with you. We just celebrated our 7th anniversary, and all is well. But I definitely want to keep it "well"!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Georgie, for this!
And I'm going to go get the movie.
I am so happy that you all want to take the dare with me...
ReplyDeleteI have definately become complacent...it was easier...
I can't wait to hear your thoughts on the movie
Oh Georgie, I'm so right there with you....same exact feelings about my husband as well. We've been in marital counseling for over a year now and we're JUST NOW making progress. It's so much work...more work than I ever imagined to keep a marriage healthy and then you had kids on top of an already struggling marriage....ugh.
ReplyDeleteIn my MOPS group, we took on The Husband Project , which is basically doing kind things towards your partner, and watch the changes that come from it. I'm struggling with it, I must admit, but I'm hanging in there! I have noticed little changes here and there based on my being kinder to him. Hang in there!!
I haven't seen Fireproof yet but it's on my queue on Netflix (it has a very long wait time!)
Ooops, meant to say "WE had kids on top of an already struggling marriage"!!
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen the movie yet but I'd like to sign up to take the dare. There probably aren't too many marriages right now that could use a little twiking.
ReplyDeleteMovie was awesome, hubby and I went as soon as it came out and the theater was PACKED! At the end there wasn't a dry eye in the house. I loved the salt and pepper analogy that his co-worker used at the firehouse.
ReplyDeleteI'm up for the challenge, will you be doing each challenge on a weekly basis instead of daily?
I have come to the conclusion that when things aren't great in my marriage, which is more often than not, even though I tend to blame it on him, it's usually because I need to focus on myself and ask myself what I could be doing differently...
♥ ya!
I haven't seen the movie, but I think that this is a great idea!
ReplyDeleteWe have a very good relationship, but I've realized we have gotten into a rut, especially since my husband started school again.
I haven't seen the movie either. But I love your challenge and will try to do it.
ReplyDeleteTo add to my last comment, I had been contemplating doing this for a while, even made a separate blog to go along with it, but then erased it LOL
ReplyDeleteYou've inspired me to create it again. Still have to get it all set up, but here's the address:
http://fullcirclemarriage.blogspot.com/
Thanks for starting this, it's going to be great!
Georgie - with your permission I'd like to link to this post on my blog in a blog post. Is that OK?
ReplyDeleteSure Jen Link away...this is something I feel strongly about and it is hard to put into words at this moment...BUT I know completing this challenge will change more than just my marriage
ReplyDeleteGeorgie - thanks so much for sharing this. I know a bunch of people who have seen this movie and said the same thing you did. All marriages have their extreme ups and downs - at least I know mine does. I will totally follow along with this.
ReplyDeleteCan I start the challenge tomorrow seeing as how I have already blown it for today : (
I saw the movie as well, I agree acting.... ok, message great! I think all marriages can benefit from the challenge!
ReplyDeleteyou are so brave, georgie. i liked your blog from the first day i found it via the okie blog awards. but, i have a whole new love for it today. i love that you just put this out there. i know others will find courage through your message.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for posting this! We too have the problems that you have described. I am going to have to rent the movie and take the love dare right along with you.
ReplyDeleteI still haven't seen the movie but I've heard tons of good things about it. You have an inspiring perspective. We have a rough time over here too, and I appreciate your honesty about your struggles. So much of the time I find I focus on his faults when I know mine are much the same and maybe even MORE dysfunctional. I've been getting the love dare emails and have struggled to apply them. Reading this today reminded me I should work a bit harder. Thank you, lady.
ReplyDeleteI have been having some of the same issues that you mentioned here. I'm not as happy as I'd like to be and I'm sure this is not where I want to be once my kids are gone. Very brave of you to post about it. My hubby sometimes reads my blog so I don't have that option. I hope this trial love dare works for you. I'll read the suggestions, but not sure I'll be able to do them.
ReplyDeleteI rented the movie and it is laying on my coffee table right now. JB & I are going to watch it this evening...No BIG problems with us, but I'm always looking for a way to life life a bit better. We need to improve in the communication area, after being married for so long were into routine and need to get some FUN back into the mix. I'm anxious to see the movie.
ReplyDeleteI'm interested in seeing the movie, but I need to know, is it one those holier than thou movies with lots of Bible references? Whynot won't sit through that with me. I'm up for a challenge, I want to stay out of those marriage ruts.
ReplyDeleteI'm so in on this! I've never even heard of this movie! I am very intruigued. My husband won't be home today (working a 24 hr shift) but I will try that tomorrow definitely- I feel very many of the same things- now go make you bean more beautiful!
ReplyDeleteGood idea. Never heard of the movie either, but I'll go for it too.
ReplyDeletegood luck to you...I haven't seen the movie but I know that we needed something that would have saved our marriage...I would have tried anything and feel you really should try things even if your marriage is great! it never hurts!
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen the movie, but it sounds good. I am going to follow your idea and really try to keep my mouth shut. Thanks for the advice. you're great!
ReplyDeleteMarriage takes work doesn't it? We intend to do "the work" it takes, but often that is the last work we want to do....we're tired, we're overstimulated, and over committed. But by focusing on simple steps (dares) we move with intention on steps that can't hurt any marriage, and often can work miracles as was shown in the movie. While some may think the movie was forced or "canned", taking such steps can help us "focus" on what often goes undone! Bravo to you for being transparent, and for putting out the encouragement to do so along with you!
ReplyDeleteSuzanne
We have not seen this yet, but definitely plan to do so.
ReplyDeleteWhat is it that makes us treat those outside our homes better than we treat our spouses?
Why worry about what "they" think ~ and put our best self forward to them ~ instead of for the one who chose us and loves us?
I am up for the challenge. Thank you.
I've been doing that for years!! If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all sorta mantra.
ReplyDeleteIt works for me.
I completely get it too. We have been together for 17 years...it was great until about 5 years ago. I'm bored because I have no life! I blame everyone else for it. I used to be really good at biting my tongue...not so much anymore. I will watch the movie and then get back to ya on this one.
ReplyDeletehttp://momof2boyswifeof1.blogspot.com/2009/02/awards-what-made-you-think-of-me.html
ReplyDeletePlease stop by...you rock!
okay, i am interested in the dare. 18 years is a longggggggg time... i'm not going to have to have sex every day, am i? then i am out, fo shiz!
ReplyDeletecan't wait to see dancin' bean!
I've seen it twice, and cried both times.
ReplyDeleteGreat idea Georgie!
Can't wait to see the pics of tonight!
I think this is a great idea...I too had to step it up in order to make things better...either that or I was going to be stepping OUT.
ReplyDeleteI'll be watching and see how you do!! The best to you and your "quest"
I'm so with you on the way you're feeling Georgie. Sometimes I just don't have it in me to be nice to him and question if I am still "in love" with him. I know I love him... but is it enough?? I'm gonna take on the dare as well.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
My Boo and I aren't married but engaged and it was definitely a God thing that he was home when I was watching the movie. Normally, he's at work and I'm the one watching. We both watched it and although the acting isn't great and I could've changed up on the storyline a little bit, I found myself crying at the end of the movie.
ReplyDeleteI turned to Boo and said, "THAT'S what is missing in our relationship!" So, if you read my post on my blog on my lousy Valentine's day, Boo discovered the Love Dare book (I had bought it for myself). He asked if he could take the dare and do it instead. I was skeptical. He doesn't stick to anything but so far, he's on day 5 (I think) and he's really been making an effort to connect and listen and in return, I'm also trying different.
I would love to do the dare!
Thanks for making me think of the things I should be doing every day!
ReplyDeleteI'm in. Married 21 years and counting!!!
ReplyDeleteHey Georiga -
ReplyDeleteI saw that one of your commenter mentioned my book - The Husband Project 21 Days of Loving Your Man on Purpose and with a plan. (Like the love dare but with a lot more fun and flirt) If you would like a copy for some additional ideas for your love dare, I would love to send you a copy- info@kathilipp.com
i have not watched the movie....but loved your post.....i will be checking back to see what is next!!!!!
ReplyDeletethis is an awesome idea......i think we all get so "busy" or maybe it is just being selfish....that we forget to say a few simple words...i love you and to really show it also!!!! so thanks for the reality check......i will try to do the challenge!!!!! not saying anything...may be a stretch for me but i will try my best!!!!
I'm in! THis is great!
ReplyDeleteWow, that's quite a challenge. I have to admit, I'm not sure that I'm up to it. But I'll think about it; I'll be checking back to see how you're doing.
ReplyDeleteSo FYI, having a little contest over at my place this week. You might want to check it out, I'm just saying...
I have been reading several people taking this challenge. I am going to have to find out what it is all about. Thanks for your raw honesty, I'm here for you, cheering you on!!
ReplyDeleteAwesome, awesome movie! No, the acting wasn't great, but the line...man it's a powerful story. I, too, could so relate to Caleb and Catherine. I was sobbing, too. Good luck with the Love Dare! You can do it!
ReplyDeleteI would love to see the movie (just hadn't taken the time yet)...Kirk Cameron is a hottie! (is that ok to say when we are here to work on our marriages? lol)
ReplyDeleteWe just celebrated (at home of course)22 years married. Of course ours too got complacent at times. When we had Roo (and was in NICU..not sure if he would make it or not) and dealing with his Cerebral Palsy really brought us a LOT closer and reminded us what family and love are about.
With that being said....I would still love to do this challenge. We all forget to go that extra step for each other at times.
Awesome post...and thanks for being so honest and opening yourself up!
I'm in. We have a good marriage, but have some of the same challenges as everyone else! Patience and no negative comments toward my husband starting NOW!
ReplyDeleteInteresting....
ReplyDeleteI'll have to check it out.
After being married six times it may be worth some investigation!
I'm so glad you liked the movie. I really thought you would.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a great movie for ANY married couple, even if they aren't Christian. It's just good stuff.
I loved Kirk Cameron in it. The acted wasn't horrible it was just a low budget movie - which makes a big difference.
I'm working on the Love Dare too. Good for you for getting so many people on board. =)
Oh, I meant to say another thing. You are right on with it being just as much our fault as it is theirs. I have to remember to ask myself -why would he want to be kind and go the extra mile for me if I'm not doing that for him?!
ReplyDeleteHere from SITS.
ReplyDeleteI have not seen the movie, but will get it ASAP. SOunds like I can use it...
I saw the movie, and I agree with you on the acting! Kirk Cameron did a good job with it, but the others? Umm....not so much. But I guess it had a really low budget.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I should do the dare along with you! Not only should I apply it to my husband, but probably also my daughter!
I agree with you about the movie...Kirk Cameron was great but the other actors a little cheesy but what a wonderful idea...I am late to the party but I am so touched by you ...I will give this a try! I will look for the book tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteLOVED THIS MOVIE!!!! It was awesome! I rented it and watched it twice within a few days and plan on buying it.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is hard work and this movie really makes one take a step back and look at yourself.
I want to do the challenge.
I will do this with you fo sho! Sounds like we can all benefit from this in some aspect of our lives. I am so proud for you being so open and up front with this. I am supporting you!!!!
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen the movie. I did my own love dare though. I dared myself to get up at 5:30 this morning to give hubby a really, really good morning wake up call.
ReplyDeleteNow I need a nap.
http://yourangil.blogspot.com/2009/02/happy-valentine-year.html
ReplyDeleteMy friend posted this blog last week. Make sure you read the part about what her friend taught her and the 365 notes for her husband.
Very beautiful.
Brooks
I totally want to hear more.. I'll try to check back in?
ReplyDeleteTweet me with new posts?
@carissa_momif !
This one is so hard but worth the start! I even extended it to my children. Instead of saying anything negative, I just say please and let them calm down. With my dh, when I got frustrated, I would start to just point out how cute he is. It calms me down and he calms down...
ReplyDeleteGeorgie, you are a remarkable woman. I am glad I did some back reading to catch up on the blogs I'd gotten behind on. I am going to rent the movie and try to 'jump in' and join the challenge. Thanks, as always, for giving me lots to think about!!
ReplyDelete