Monday Funnies...(for the guys out there)

Tom's scrotum":
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium.

She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.

"Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.

"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."

All the men sighed with unified relief.

The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, "I'm Tom Smith."

The entire congregation held its breath.

"I just want to tell my wife the word is 'sternum'."


My confession for today: Go check out Damnyouautocorrect
it's beyond funny!

P.S. My Hubs is in the same boat but it ain't his STERNUM...he is willing to live with one testie


  1. Oh you make me smile!!
    And love the auto corrects!! :)

  2. I think I just snorted soda out of my nose, I laughed so hard at this one!

  3. can't wait to share this with my husband!!

  4. That is so funny, but does happen in real life. You find some of the best things to put a smile on our faces. The way the world situation is, there is not a lot to smile about anymore. Trust you are well.

  5. to funny!! I always get words messed up so appreciate when I hear one that I did not do! It is always more funny when it happens to someone else!

  6. Now Georgie, give your husband his ball back. Sheesh.

    Kidding. Kidding. I hope all is well.

  7. That's too cute!! Loved it!

  8. That cracks me up! I once pulled some tendons in my foot and my daughter asked me - in front of her friend - how my TESTICLES were feeling!
    I LOVE DamnYouAutoCorrect too, it makes me laugh even when I am in the worst mood!

  9. FUNNY!! I haven't heard this one before.

    Hope your husband is feeling a bit better soon!!

  10. Thanks--I needed this! :)

  11. thanks reminds me of my sister confusing words.

  12. Nice malapropism. (And my man-parts are relieved.)

  13. thanks for the morning smile
    ..coming at you via Half Past Kissing Time

  14. Love it, lol! So glad I found your blog through Saturday Sampler!

  15. That'll leave a mark.....