Push 1 for English

Yesterday while I am alternating heat and ice on my back I get a phone call from daddy. Well I didn't 'know' it was daddy at first-a strange number came up on cid and I typically do not answer strange numbers...my mama didn't raise no dummy, but I answered anyway, sorry mom...I mean if someone is gonna call me while I am doing the ice/heat on my back it MUST be important, cuz it's not like I was smart enough to take the weapon errrr phone and place it beside my make-shift hospital chair.

This was our Conversation:

Me: Helll-o all timid like

Daddy: yeah call the phone company and tell them my phone is out all out of breath and bossy like and what no Hi how are you, I miss you and love you?

Me: ummm okay who is your home service with-all relieved it is somone I know as apposed to someone I didn't wanna talk to

Daddy: Girrrrl I don't know just look in the phonebook and call them all very up in your bidness bossy like

Me: well daddy I need to know who your home service is with, is it SWB or AT&T -we don't live in the same town

Daddy: Yeah try AT&T-tell them my phone is out and I need them to come fix it

Me: Okay I will see what I can do

Daddy: JUST CALL THEM and then call mama and Tommy and have them call it in too

Click....ummm HELLO....

So I go dig out one of the monster phonebooks from my very messy junk cabinet and all kindsa things start falling out on my head and the counter and the floor like chapstick,a bottle of glitter-that spills,a picture frame I was gonna decorate with said glitter,the sewing kit that has been missing for at least 6 years which bounced off my head then on the floor spilling 397 stick pins and spools of thread,a calendar from 1999,a bottle of motrin which expired in 2000,beads that I hid from lilest bean in the flimsiest plastic tub-also spilling-mr gp aka NOT SAWYER is such a pack rat...geesh MEN

I call AT&T and get the rudest custmer service person ever-those automated peeps are so insensitive to the fact your back is killing you and 10 years worth of junk is now laying in the middle of your kitchen floor and they want you to push no less than 57 numbers before you get a real live rude CS person(no offense meant IF you are a real nice CS person-real OR automated)  

So I go through the story and answer all the questions 30 mins later the lady says "do you have permission to authorize a $50 service fee IF we find this problem is not our fault and any repair charges will be the responsibilty of Mr Shirley" ummmmm me "Listen here lady, I PUSHED the number that the automated man told me to push IF I didn't have authorization" lady "Well we do show there is an issue with the line BUT we can NOT go out there if someone doesn't authorize this" me "Can't you just go out there he WILL be home then he can authorize whats he needs to" lady "NO"

At this point I hang up on her...I know I am so mature

I am gonna suggest daddy dust off and hook up the CB radio it's cheaper and the CS peeps are way nicer

My Confession for today: I plan on getting 'LOST' Jan 21st-hence all the NOT Sawyer ref's lately