7.29.2009

Men VS Women-who has it easier?

It's Wednesday I got nothing...I guess I could have posted this pic and talked about the fact that when mama-specifically ME says apply sunscreen before you leave for the pool, then re-apply at the first adult swim and your so-white-you-need-to-wear-shades-when-you-see-him-shirtless- freckled faced-son replies 'REAL MEN DON'T NEED SUNSCREEN" 

That I actually do know what I am talking about...but who wants to talk or hear about the fact that my son the Reese-A-Nator now looks like a LOBSTER...I know, I got NO pity for him either...moving on...


Instead I saw this at Missy's blog and asked if I could borrow it...

So Tell me...who has it better/easier


THE ADVANTAGES OF BEING A WOMAN


1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

3. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

4. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

5. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

6. Taxis stop for us.

7. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

8. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies (you get the point).

9. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

10. No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.

11. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

12. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

13. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.

14. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

15. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

16. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

17. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

18. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

19. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

20. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

21. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

22. We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra.


THE ADVANTAGES OF BEING A MAN


1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

2. You know stuff about tanks.

3. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.

4. Monday Night Football.

5. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

6. You can open all your own jars.

7. Old friends don't annoy you if you've lost or gained weight.

8. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.

9. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.

10. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.

11. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.

12. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

13. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

14. Your last name stays put.

15. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

16. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

17. You can kill your own food.

18. The garage is all yours.

19. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

20. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.

21. You never have to clean the toilet.

22. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.

23. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

24. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

25. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.

26. The National College Cheerleading Championship

27. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

28. You don't have to shave below your neck.

29. If you're 34 and single nobody notices.

30. Everything on your face stays its original color.

31. Chocolate is just another snack.

32. You can be president without all the jokes.

33. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

34. Flowers fix everything.

35. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

36. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

37. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.

38. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

39. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.

40. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.

41. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

42. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.

43. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

44. You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.

45. You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking: He must be mad at me.

46. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.

47. You get to jump up and slap stuff.

48. One mood, all the time.

49. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

50. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.

51. Same work....more pay.

52. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.

53. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

54. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.

55. You don't mooch off others' desserts.

56. The remote is yours and yours alone.

57. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

58. ESPN's sports center.

59. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

60. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

61. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.

62. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed.

63. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

64. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.

65. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.

66. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.

67. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

68. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.

69. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"

70. Baywatch

71. There is always a game on somewhere

My confession for today: I LOVE Rainy days


34 comments:

  1. Yep, yep, yep Women have it made!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You've got that right! LOL And, I empathise -- my oldest son "forgot" to put sunscreen on at the beach today until about half way through our time there. I'm sure he'll be a lobster tomorrow!

    Thanks for dropping by my blog.

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  3. Yikes! Life is so complicated!

    I also love rainy days - in the summer!

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  4. Men have it WAY better than women...

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  5. I have it a LOT easier than my husband, but if you tell him I said that I'll deny it. *wink

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  6. That was all so very true!

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  7. Great lists! True lists! Lists don't lie!! ♥

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  8. Hee heee hee! Dare I saye women (by virtue of practice) are better at uncorking wine?

    GREAT lists! (and make that sweet Irish looking lad sunscreen up!)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love rainy days, too - but only when I get to stay home... in my pjs.
    I'm a sunscreen nazi. Drives my husband crazy! He can't believe that I buy 70spf.

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  10. Wait a minute....why is the man's list so much longer than the woman's list?? LOL

    Oh, you should hear me with my kids about the sunscreen. I have to practically sit on them to get them covered enough to steer clear of a sunburn.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm dropping by from Yaya's blog to say good morning. Women have it sooo much easier but according to the lists men have more advantages...weird.

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  12. How about when men want to lose weight it drops right off of them; but when women want to, they have to diet and exercise, and even then it only drops one measly little pound at a time? Yeah, men definitely got the better end of the deal : )

    ReplyDelete
  13. I love this post...
    There are enough on each list to be happy with who you are!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Okay, these were totally cute! But hey, I like to fart to amuse myself! Really!

    And ouch! Poor, stupid Reese. LOL! Aloe! Aloe!

    Justine :o )

    ReplyDelete
  15. That was funny. Sometimes it's just not fair. I guess it is a give and take kind of thing.

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  16. Okay, I have to admit I take exception to #5 on the women's list because, quite frankly, I thought Cartoon Tarzan, from the movie, was HAWT!! ;-)

    You know you've watched too many Disney movies when the phrase, "We're watching an adult movie tonight," simply means that it has a PG-13 rating or higher.

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  17. I think men have it easier overall! Blah!

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  18. PEE STANDING UP! Thats HUGE!!! Cant believe you forgot it!!!! Oh and we dont have to wipe our cocks after so we use WAY less TP!

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  19. I don't care who has it easier - I'd way rather be a woman.

    We can bend gender rules more easily. We can wear pants and dresses. I bet male nurses are more annoyed by the stereotypes than female fighter pilots.

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  20. I stumbled upon your blog and find it fascinating, I have been reading now for an hour, will be back to read some more. I had to join your followers.

    Duchess xx

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  21. I think men win!!!! I mean they have things a lot easier!

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  22. Real men do TOO wear sunscreen. At least, real men with histories of melanoma in their family. Mine (all five) lather up.

    Take him home some pictures of guys with half their noses missing from the resection. Just see if he refuses to wear sunscreen again.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  30. 每個人都有屬於自己的故事酒店上班可以幫你解決問題酒店打工讓你快速賺錢酒店兼差非常方便不用朝九晚五的打卡酒店經紀可以幫你安排適合的酒店想要暑假打工嗎或是想要寒假打工都歡迎您打來電話來詢問職缺。
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    ReplyDelete
  31. 水水想要酒店兼差嗎賺錢不是為了滿足虛榮酒店上班是為了改善生活品質酒店打工進而創造屬於妳自己的人生!酒店經紀人是這偉大夢想的推手實現您的夢想暑假打工的工作時間只是在暑假期間寒假打工的工作是在寒假期間,歡迎來電查詢。
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    專業的酒店經紀公司我們提供許多工作如酒店上班可以幫您賺錢酒店打工讓您解決錢的問題酒店兼差也可以讓您快速累積財富暑假打工的工作機會也非常的多寒假打工的機會可以事先詢問喔
    我們是專業的酒店經紀公司且我們也有自營的酒店水水想來酒店上班或是美美想來酒店打工或者是只是想要短期的酒店兼差都是可以安排的暑假到了暑假打工現在正的熱門的工作寒假打工雖然還沒到但是也可以事先預約工作,歡迎來電洽詢

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  32. 9 .酒店經紀提供妳安全、穩定的高薪工作,徵想要當傳播妹,上班小姐,酒店兼差,酒店兼職,歡迎學生打工,金典酒店,兼差,兼職工作日領,晚班兼職!!!歡迎年滿18歲加入我們這個大家庭!9 .酒店經紀公司與台北市、高雄市各大型合法酒店長期配合,擁有專業經紀團隊,成員皆在酒店業工作多年,對各家酒店之經營模式、上班所需之手腕技巧皆具有深入之了解,透明化作業方式,為妳爭取最大之利益就是我們的利益!9.酒店經紀提供酒店上班,八大行業,酒店兼職,打工兼差,打工,兼差,現領,兼職,缺錢,傳播妹,假日兼職,賺錢,酒店兼差,鋼琴酒吧等服務!不要輕言進入酒店這個行業!如果不得已,我們將是妳最大的後盾!當妳離開這個行業,希望妳永遠不要再進入這行!邁向妳美好的人生是我們最大的心願!
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