Why I don't Coupon it up

I am a bargain hunter-always out to see how much I can get for the "all-mighty" dollar. It's like a game to me. I am a clearance rack junkie...Finding the best deal on a hotel-I'm there-just call me the *negotiator*,getting a discount on attractions-got it covered BUT when it comes to grocery shopping I just didn't inherit the "coupon gene"

This has rubbed off on oldest bean-we gave her a $100 Friday and she bought 5 shirts and a bra...ok ok 5 shirts and a bra you say? In her defense the 5 said shirts were from Holister and they were all on clearance $12.90-the $20 dolla bra was also on clearance from Victoria's Secret-since when do almost 15 yr olds buy their bras from VS? I mean the local wal-marts or targets have perfectly good bras for much much less. Believe me, my size C cups sit just fine in the cheaper bras...

Ok I am rambling-my point is I LOVE to save a buck or two-so when mr gp said "why don't you use some of those coupons I have been clipping from the Sunday paper?" "There are some really good ones like $3 off 2 bottles of that expensive shampoo you girls use" My ears perk up..."If you use this one you can get bacon for 98 cents" ohhh I LOVE me some BLT's "This one will save you $1.00 off two boxes of cereal" Cereal is always good for "yo-yo" nights(aka Your On Your Own nights)our beans LOVE cereal...Ok I am game

Don't get me wrong I have always admired those peeps that clip coupons and price match-I am just too much of an impulse shopper-I decide the "day of" what I wanna fix for dinner-I visit my local small-mart(aka wal-mart neighborhood market) just about everyday, sometimes twice a day because I always forget something that I need.

So I "gear" up, get my own envelope to hold said coupons and a pen. I write on the outside of the envelope what coupons I have and am off like the roadrunner *beep beep*

I should have known immediately that I would have problems when I was meticiously going up and down each aisle looking for the product on said coupons-I mean I am a zig-zagger grocery shopper-I typically get all my staples- hit the bud light with lime aisle first and then anything that makes it into the cart after that is secondary...

You should have seen me *think* Jamie Lee Curtis from Christmas with the Kranks-I run into a few people and nervously laugh while stating "oops sorry, guess I don't have my drivers license for this dang cart" I get the strangest looks-it's like they *know* this is my first rodeo with coupon'n it up!

So I get to the check out and the lines are LONG-I scope out the 20 item or less lane, start counting my items, 25, damn but decide that 25 is closer to 20 than 30 and go with the express lane(Okay I hate people like me too-go ahead chunk a can of green beans at my head-I wouldn't blame you)

I approach the checker with a smile and inform her I have coupons should I give them to her now? Ok the jigs up everyone now knows this IS my first rodeo! Forgive me I don't know proper coupon'n etiquette-I always use self check out...

I hand over my coupons $2 off farmland bacon making it 98cents SCORE now I am thinkin "maybe this isn't so bad" next the glorious shampoo $3 off coupon- "I am sorry ma'am this is expired" me "HUH? coupons expire?" store checker "would you still like the shampoo" me nervous giggle "well ummm no I guess not, the beans can just use dawn dish washing detergent this week" so she removes the shampoo-the two ladies behind me are looking very impatient and I mouth I-AM-SORRY-THIS-IS-HER-FIRST-RODEO and then I make the Coo-Coo sign with my finger around my ear and point ever so sneakily at the checker/cashier.

Then a few more coupons are slid by with a VICTORY my last coupon was for cereal and it was rejected-you wanna know why???? Because it was for 2 boxes of "Post" cereal and apparently the small marts likes to mess with crazy blondes on their first coupon outing, I mean who in their right mind stuffs lucky charms(made by general mills-which I now know) smack dab in the middle of the Fruity Pebbles made by Post? pffft "would you still like the cereal ma'am?" ummm no I guess the beans can have milk N crackers for yo-yo night...

I pay and say *beep beep* and I'm off like the road runner...I coulda swore I heard the ladies behind me mumble something about ME being crazy, pffft...

And that my fine peeps is why I don't use coupons

My confession for today:I will start doing coupons again when I find one for Bud Light w/Lime


  1. Ooo, I hate coupons too. Just can't be bothered. Yuk pooey. My middle age eyes are too bad to read the really small expiration dates anyway.

  2. Ha! I'm a cheapskate from the word get-go! However, I found out real quick that coupons make me actually spend MORE money... It's their evil plot. I'll start using coupons when Wally World starts producing coupons on all GV brand items... VERY PROUD of your oldest bean... Girl after my own heart...

  3. I will coupon for non grocery items easier than grocery items. The food items often have so many restrictions on them and they expire quickly and the Sunday paper doesn't even HAVE that many coupons for food anymore. They are all for toiletries, etc. Saw you on Mom2Boys, by the way.