The Ugly Truth

Simply put cancer sucks...

We knew when daddy had the tumor removed from his leg last year, there was a chance it could spread and if it did, it would most likely be to his lungs. Those of you that have been around for awhile know that daddy went through chemo treatments and lived with us for a while(you can click on my labels for daddy or papa george if you want to read the history) and when he couldn't stand another treatment he called it quits and moved on to radiation treaments.

A few weeks ago he had some tests done, then a biopsy and his type of cancer a fast growing sarcoma had indeed reared it's ugly head...again, this time, in both of his lungs...

He had an appointment with his cancer care doctor last week, options were discussed, questions were asked, best and worst case scenarios were given. When it was all said and done daddys last question no wait statement was 'If I start this chemo again ya'll are going to have to work around my trail riding- I NEED this week off RIGHT here' I think that says a lot, a man faced with what he was told pretty much says I AM GONNA LIVE MY LIFE his way, his terms...

Today daddy re-started chemo treatments, I agreed to meet him there after I got all the childrens off to school, as I'm driving I am thinking over all the dr had told us last week, things like, it's fast growing, both lungs, best case 5 yrs worst case less than a year, it will proably come back, surgery is a last resort-it's hard on you and would require 2 surgeries, a few people have beat this, MD Anderson reccomends these drugs, it won't be as hard on you this time and then I started to cry...

I am not a big crier, I protect my heart with a wall, I stand firm, I'm a control freak, I have even been called intimidating,vulnerable ME? NEVER, no one OR nothing is gonna break me...well that was until this morning...

When I realized this time is different, daddy won't be going to a hospital to have the cancer removed like last time, this time they are treating the beast growing in his lungs the best way they know, it's a waiting game and we won't know if the treatments are working until late Oct/first of Nov when they do another CT.

A thought entered my mind as I was driving actually more of a mental picture and it was of daddy standing at the scheduling desk saying 'Now I need these dates right here off from treatments for horse rides, hey do you ride' then I laughed and then I realized I had driven 10 miles past his Dr office.

His treatment went well, it was short and it is different this time, 1 day a week for 2 weeks off a week then repeat for 6 cycles-which is why chemo should be easier on his body this go around.

Before we left daddy had to stop by the scheduling desk to make his next appointment and this is what I heard...

'Now I need these dates right here off from treatments for horse rides, hey do you ride' That, my friends, is GOD....

My confession for today: His way His terms...ride daddy ride...