They say laughter is the best medicine, but lately I am having a hard time finding my funny bone, with the exception of the other day I was coming out of the bathroom and Abs was coming in and the door collided with my knee, that made me laugh and cry and wince and say farfunuken a whole bunch of times.
Hospice has been sending me grief support brochures,letters,little booklets and I have been devouring them like the pioneer woman's Olive cheese bread.
Don't get me wrong...I am not walking around like a zombie, I'm not sobbing all the time, It's not like I can't function...it's more like a piece of me is missing and I feel empty sometimes.
I will walk past the fridge where Jess has taken it upon herself to be in charge of all 'papa George photos' and every few weeks a new one pops up and I stop and think back to when it was taken, what we were doing...you can see the happiness in their eyes, all 3 of my children sitting on daddys lap-YOU were never to big or old to sit on Papa G's lap, I can almost hear his voice...
Then a tear will fall and I rub the photo and say I Love You Daddy...
I have a point here...amidst all the info from hospice I found they offer grief support groups and even though I may feel like I am 'keeping it all together' I find that I have a need to discuss some things and don't want to be a Debbie Downer to my friends nor do I want to bother my sisters when they themselves are still grieving-
So I attended a group meeting where I could share my frustrations,my loss, why I feel the way I do, Why I think the way I do...I was surrounded by others in various stages of loss, I was welcomed with open arms and no one judged me, if I said something that came out wrong or made no sense no one accused me of anything and the best part...I didn't hurt any ones feelings...something that I have done lately, not intentionally of course...
They let me talk, they listened, they nodded in understanding, they told me the way I was feeling was completely normal, some had been through similar situations. It was nice,it was healing, it helped...
It's a 6 week class where you meet once a week...it's a commitment I intend to keep....
My confession for today: Confession is good for the soul...
((Hugs)) to you sweet Georgie. I can't imagine how difficult it must be.
ReplyDeleteoh Georgie; grieving with you. Sorry it hurts so bad. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteBless your heart! I can't imagine what you are going through! But stay strong, babe!
ReplyDeleteGood for you...give yourself time. Hang in xoxoxox
ReplyDeleteGood for you for going to the group sessions!
ReplyDeleteHang in there.
My heart aches for you. xoxo
ReplyDeletethat sounds like a really great thing for you. I always believe in the power of talking and support. from outside. I sometimes think family can be too close to the situation to listen.
ReplyDeleteAw Georgie!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you have found such a place! :)
Oh sweetie, I know it's tough. I've been there. I just passed my 2 year mark with my dad and I still cry. It's just ok to feel it and give in to it sometimes. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteOh Georgie, I feel for you. Momma has been gone 4 years this month and my friend Gail too in March. It does get better but the healing is slow. You will always want to shed that tear, I still do but I don't feel so empty and lost and total sadness. I am so glad you are going to the grief group and finding comfort. It's wonderful. Our hospice thing for Momma didn't offer that for us and I so wish they had. I had to find therapist to help. Take care and know we are all there for you. Carla
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's good to have someone outside of family to talk too. I wish I had realized I needed counseling after my grandmother died. Instead I had to struggle through almost a year of grief and depression. Sure I talked to my mom, but she was going through the same thing, and honestly, neither of us really helped the other. I'm glad you found a group.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you have somebody to talk with about this. It's too hard otherwise.
ReplyDeleteGeorgie I cannot IMAGINE losing my dad. It is so, so good that you are going. I'll keep praying for you and sending you hugs all the while glad that you have found a place to share your grief and find some comfort. HUGS
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear you are going thorough such bad times. I attended some of these classes when I lost my husband. I did not go too long, as I was more depressed when I left than when I went. Listening to all the sob stories got to me. Try doing something that will keep your mind occupies.
ReplyDeleteI'm still so sorry.
ReplyDeleteIf you'd like to add a monthly grief support I'd be happy to meet up with you at a local watering hole. =)
Good for you for going! This will help you.
ReplyDeleteIt is tough losing a parent especially when you were so close to them.
Keep going and as time passes the hurt will subside and become managable.
Trust me I miss my Mom every day and would love to talk to her in person but I know that she is happy and w/o pain and she is finally with my Dad.
Bless you and love you too!
Melinda
I'm so glad you went.
ReplyDeleteAs for the pictures, that is the reason why I take so many pictures. I wish my parents had taken more. Pictures of our dad are truly cherished between my sister and me.
((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you found this group and it is helping. I think those of us that have followed your blog wish we could help, just like when my sister lost her baby I wished I could be of more comfort to her, but really--only those that had been in her particular situation could really help her because they had walked that mile in her shoes.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you found a group and feel it is helping you. I wish my mom had done this when my Pap died, she could probably still benefit from it.
ReplyDeletePrayers for you!
So glad you found a group to help you through this process. It just may make all the difference. I resisted doing this for a long, long time and when I finally decided to look for support, the group nearest me had disbanded. I never looked anywhere else. Sometimes I wish I had been more persistent. Good luck to you, my friend.
ReplyDeleteOh, Georgie, I am so, so sorry. I'm so glad you are taking care of yourself. Love, hugs, prayers to you...
ReplyDeleteGrief is different for everyone, you are proceeding in your own way. And I might add, expression of grief is a very healthy way to move through your loss. You will come to know when your healing truely begins as the sadness lessens.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find the healing transition a remakable experience in time. We have all heard stories of transformation of the human spirit after such events. Remember the spirit, energy, and essense of the person lives on in the heart of many.
I empathis with your loss as I lost a sister of 27 years back in 1990, she now gets to live out eternity with my Dad who died of a broken heart seven years later, they both visit everytime I think of them, they are with me right now, so thank you to you.
Be well, find you peace of mind and go there often.
Georgie, I'm so sorry for you and your family's loss. I hope all you'll find peace and comfort in all the good memories you have of your father.
ReplyDeleteThank God for pictures! Photography, memories = healing.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs!
I'm so glad you've found a great place for support. My Mom is a Hospice nurse-it's a hard thing to go through but talking about it brings some comfort and peace.
ReplyDeleteIt's so good to find someone/a group to talk to! Good for you for making the step to going to the group, and making a commitment to continue going.
ReplyDeleteIf I could reach through my computer to yours, I would give you a big long hug! My heart aches for your aching heart.
That broken heart/something missing feeling hurts so much. I hope the group setting helps you get through this.
ReplyDeletexox
I attended a similar thing after my 2nd miscarriage. It was a real blessing.
ReplyDeleteSending prayers and hugs to you, my friend!
Hang on in there - thinking of you
ReplyDeleteHi
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog today. I'm sorry for your loss. Glad you are taking advantage of the grief support group. I volunteer for hospice and people say that the groups are a big help. Sometimes its easier to say these things to strangers because we don't have to be worried about upsetting them. Take care of yourself
Sherri
now following you
I am so happy you have found a group. I hope it does help and I really feel like it will. You are in my prayers in this hard time.
ReplyDeleteYou are not Debbie Downer you are human! Sending you lots of love & long distance hugs <3
ReplyDelete*Hugs* They say the 1st year is the hardest -I know it seems 1 little thing will set off a memory and it's hard -Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteOh sweetie, I am so very sorry for your loss. I've been sick and out of touch with the blogworld. I pray God will grant you comfort and sweet, sweet peace. Good for you joining a support group, no one know like those who are goin' through the same thing too. Take care and here's sendin' you great big Ozark hugs!!!
ReplyDeleteTake care and God bless
Sending you hugs and prayers, my sweet friend...
ReplyDeleteI'm here for you....
Georgie, I can honestly say, that I understand your loss. I lost my step-mother 7 years ago, and my own mother 6 years ago. They lacked a week from being exactly one year apart.
ReplyDeleteMy mother was my best friend, and as I write this, I'm looking at her picture that sits above my monitor. After 6 years, I still grieve. There are times when I become very afraid because I can't remember what her laugh sounds like.
My children found a VERY old VCR tape that she sent me while I was in the Army back in '90. It helps.
If I may, I offer this prayer for you.
Dear Lord, grant Georgie your strength and comfort. Grant her your Love and peace that passes all understanding. Let her feel the love she generates in others for her.
All things are possible in Christ Jesus' holy name. Thank you for the blessings you have given and will continue to give. Amen.
I'm so glad you found this support group. Sending you love. Be patient with yourself and your grieving.
ReplyDelete