So I have been reading all about everyones escapades at BlogHer '09, looking at everyones pictures-trying to imagine myself in the photo,clicking all the linky loos in the posts, so wanting to be a part of something that I wasn't, telling myself I really didn't miss anything-I prolly would have hid in a corner with a glass of wine and cig in one hand and sucked my thumb with the other hand, but the truth is...I do feel like I missed something and no it wasn't the swag...
I spent most of today reading every single one of the keynotes (if you are like me, did not attend BlogHer 09, then click on the word keynotes and read some of what you missed-word of caution have a box of tissues handy) some made me laugh hysterically, some made me cry to the point that my children considered calling 911, some made me think and evaluate...I left comments on some of the blogs because they moved me, touched me, inspired me-I didn't know these bloggers, they don't know me, but their stories left an impact on me to the point I left their blog feeling like a different person. I felt like I knew them, connected to them,understood them...
Most of my friends/family don't blog and truth be told probably think I am crazy sharing ancient family secrets, making fun of my children,making fun of myself/our family-heck my husband thinks blogging is themoststoopidthingthereis-can I say NO SUPPORT. But he wants hairplugs so what does he know anyway? My friends say 'I just don't have the time' or 'but you really don't know any of those people' or How can you tell the world all about your life or I really don't understand why anyone would blog...see they don't get it...
Since I started blogging I have had to delete one post because I hurt a friends feelings-that was never my intention-most of my blog posts are tongue-in-cheek-in-jest. She didn't understand and that's okay...because I know I can log on and instantly be reminded that somewhere someone out there gets it, gets me....not everyone and that's okay too, even if the vain side of me wants everyone to love me, I ultimately realize not everyone will...
So as I read and digested the words that filled my screen a thought kept running through my head, this thought 'what's your flavor, tell me whats your flavor' NO WAIT that was the commercial that was playing over and over as I read...my thought was 'what's my purpose, why do I blog, what's my niche,gawd I am so D-List'
I write with bad grammar and questionable humor(in my head I'm really funny)-I censor myself so as not to hurt anothers feelings ever again, very rarely do I write anything earth shattering, I don't do politics on my blog, I am a MOM not a mommy anymore, I try not to judge, I haven't expierenced a whole lot of 'MAJORS' in my 38 years of life, so where do I fit in the blog-o-sphere? Does it really matter?
Most of you probably don't even realize that there are days that I feel sad and lonely and unloved and unworthy and under-appreciated and self concious, that I have days that I don't want to talk on the phone or shower or do my hair or makeup or smile or eat. I have days where I just want to live inside my computer, read your stories and forget about everything around me- your stories, your lives, your love, more times than not are what gets me through most days...
To those of you that come back day after day and read me and leave me comments letting me know you were here reading my dribble, Thank You-Thank You for Getting It-You make me feel like I do matter in this big space we call the internet...You have no idea how much...
My confession for today: My plan for the next year is to try and figure out a way to be in NYC in 2010
This one got me, Georgie...you could have been writing for me! I love you, girlie, I think we were separated at birth!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post; I absolutely love it, Georgie. But don't go-I can't, and so I don't want anyone else to go, either! Just come to my house, instead! :) Only kidding, of course. The keynotes (and meeting everyone) was what I most looked forward to at BlogHer, and neither disappointed. Glad you got a little taste of BlogHer.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy your blog!! It doesn't matter to me if you don't fit into a certain "blogging package" you are you... and that's good enough for me!
ReplyDeleteThis was quite wonderful and heartfelt. Yes I did make there this year and had not planned on going next year, BUT...the daughter might be interested and I saw it was at the HILTON!!!WooHoo...may have to attend
ReplyDeleteI get the same kind of grief for blogging. The way I look at it , is it's a journal of me. Someday, I'll look back on it as something I created. I get a lot of joy and creative release from it so if people don't understand it I can't help them. I all I have to say to them is to try it, you might like it. Sometimes you can get more support from a perfect stranger than you do from your friends and family, that's the shame of it all. But it only goes to show that at the end of the day we are all human and want the same things- love and acceptance.
ReplyDeleteThere is a part of us in everything you've said here - especially that paragraph about wanting to crawl into the Internet and read everyone else's stories. Your posts are always endearing, Georgie. You're the perfect rep to Blogher from Oklahoma - kind, funny, real. I hope you make it NY in 2010. I'm just not sure I can leave my little ones for that long - or get on a plane. I HATE FLYING! Talk about fears to overcome.
ReplyDeleteI'm so there with you chica. I tried doing a journal in high school and never could keep it up. I tried it a few months before my dad passed on in 2000 and I couldn't keep it up. So far this has been going on for 6 months and I'm still excited about it as I was when I started it. I don't feel like I will ever get rich off of blogging, but something in me tells me that this is what I will be doing for a long time. Keep on keepin on chica:D
ReplyDeleteI like the bloggers that don't fit into a certain category. The ones that just tell it like it is and don't worry about grammer and pleasing everyone. The ones that are just them. Yours has always seemed that way to me and that's why I love reading yours so much.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I feel the same as a lot of what you wrote.
Well Georgie, I just met ya... and to be honest, I don't even remember how... how sad is that? But, I love what you write and how you write it so I'll keep coming back. I've felt all the same things as you. Do people read and comment on my blog because they genuinely like it/me, or do they do it out of obligation because I comment on their blog? Because honestly? Some of the friends I have on here are so completely polar opposite of me, it's not even funny. Or maybe it is. From 20-something single girls, to 30-something gay men, to 60- and 70-something country-living men and women, my friends/bloggers/commenters seem to run the gamut. Even geographically we're different. A friend in Trinidad, one in Norway, one in Scotland, one in England (that I actually met last summer). We're just all over the place. But am I making any kind of impact? I dunno. I hope so, even if it's just to give each person a little giggle when they read.
ReplyDeleteOkay, sorry. You don't even know me and I've gone on quite a bit. I'll shut up now.
Justine :o )
Georgie--
ReplyDeleteI love your blog--it makes me laugh most of the
time. Today's was more for us to think about. That is great too. I'm still new to this and
I don't know why but the comments mean a lot to
me too-especially when I have worked sooo hard on a post and there are 0 comments.
You keep being Georgie and we'll all keep coming
back to see what you are up too!
Melinda
THANK You for sharing the keynotes!! I didn't know you could get there...
ReplyDeleteLove this post today. I definitely appreciate you! ♥♥♥♥
You and Wheezer CANNOT have been separated at birth because you and I were separated at birth.
ReplyDeleteI plan to be there in '10! Look out NYC!!!!
this post is incredible, georgie. you are what makes this whole blog scene work. every time i read your posts, i know i am hearing from a genuine, wonderful, funny, real person.
ReplyDeletei can't wait to meet you in NYC next year!
I'm going to BlogHer next year too. I started by registering and from there, I figure I'll have a year to figure out exactly how I'm going to figure out the rest. But, I know that those keynote speakers and seminars are why I want to go. Swag...that's just icing, I'm there to be inspired and to learn.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to meet you!
Ok, I used the word figure 3 times in one sentence and didn't even realize it. How is that even possible?
ReplyDeleteI want to go too...I missed going this year!'
ReplyDeleteI love your blog and I don't believe you aren't the totally put together perfect girl I see every time I come here...
You are a very real person who I love to read...thanks for being real! :)
You write from your heart. I appreciate that. It's fun to have "friends" online. As for BlogHer, if it's important to you, make it happen!
ReplyDeleteWhat an utterly fantastic post, Georgie! I had no idea that you could check out all of the key notes...thanks for the tip.
ReplyDeleteOh, and of course we read your blog. You are about one of the coolest people I know in the blogosphere! :)
-Francesca
I'm a D lister, too!
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I could have written it myself. I kind of got sidetracked on my blog after a blow up with a family member who always would assume my vent posts or random posts were somehow about her. Still can't figure it out. I hope to get back in my blog soon.
ReplyDeleteI too want to go to BlogHer 2010--sounds like it would be so much fun.
i agree with you!!!!!
ReplyDeletei feel this way from time to time too!!!!!
the blog world has become a huge part of my life......i too feel like i know some of you and all about your life!!!!!! i am so glad we all share our stories and know we are not the only ones that have" issues" in our lives!!!!
i love your blog!!!!!!!
I get ya chickie!! Great post. I think most of us feel what you blogged today, and that is the real reason we are here, to express ourself in different ways that no one else gets.
ReplyDeleteKeep at it!! Lord knows you make me laugh a lot!
Oh...yea....ooooh I am feeling this one.
ReplyDeleteYou would not be hiding in the corner, because WE will be having too much fun. I'm counting on you to be there in NYC! Get ready for big hugs!!
ReplyDeleteThe thing is, you get it! You have heart. You are funny and more.
ReplyDeleteOne of the very best things I learned this year was that people who I thought would totally intimidate me were TOTALLY NORMAL, just like me! We're all just people, sharing our hearts...and it's good :)
Aww georgie - I get it! What you wrote today, I could have written. I think that's why most of us are here - connecting with others who get it. I love coming over here and seeing what you are doing - and I love your sense of humor, too!
ReplyDeleteI love your blog Georgie. You really put yourself out there and I appreciate it plus you are very supportive and in general a very nice person. I convinced of all that and I have never even met you in person.
ReplyDeleteI really missed you during your long absence from blogging.
I sooo get this! I was jealous reading everyone's recaps, but also excited about attending one in the future, I'll suck thumbs with you!
ReplyDeleteVisiting from SITS. You really put to paper exactly how I feel about blogging. I love your honesty here. My husband thinks I waste too much time blogging too. MEN!!! They just don't get it. Glad that you do!
ReplyDeleteFirst visit to your site and now I'm following. Visiting from SITS. I like your logo. It's a hoot.
ReplyDelete"What's your flavor . . ." HA! (hits "subscribe")
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for stopping by my blog to comment. I love your blog already, and you'd better make sure you get to BlogHer 2010, 'cuz I want to meet you.
i soooo get ya. i read faithfully. you are you, and that is good enuff for me. u should be proud of yourself for writing that. A LOT of people feel that way and are afraid to admit it. i too, feel like i am missing something sometimes. i want to to live by an ocean. heck there are days i want to live anywhere but illinois. to see and experience dif things. and then i know i couldn't leave the fam (and a few friends). take the steps and go to NYC!! enjoy yourself.
ReplyDeleteand men, or at least 99% of them just don't get it!! they can sum up a 3 hour conversation in 2 words. now that would be a boring blog!!
anyway, i am glad u blog, hope u have a great, fantastic, blessed day!!
Aww Georgie, us crazy bloggers love you no matter what!
ReplyDeleteYou are one of my VERY favorite bloggers and maybe you're not burning up the world, but you ARE funny and REAL and I think that is why I like you. I like real-life blogs with real people doing real, everyday things. That may sound boring and I suppose it could be but when Georgie Porgie is writing - it's NOT boring. Period. Anyway, what's the big deal about NYC? Let's have an ES blog get together. We'll call it something really clever and bring each other swag... Oh, the possibilities!
ReplyDeletefound you on SITS and I'm so glad because now you can do my school shopping for me! whee!
ReplyDeleteLove your honesty. And if it's worth anything, I think you're funny. Happy SITS Sharefest
ReplyDeleteI have those same types of days and I love that you shared about it. Just like any community, blogging takes all kinds and it wouldn't be the same without moms and mommies and dads and everyone. I don't have a niche and barely ever have comments so I totally know where you're coming from. Keep on keeping on, I'll keep on reading.
ReplyDeleteVery nicely said. My parents ask me all the time about blogging and what it is and why I do it. Thank God they don't read my blog! You explained it very well. It's the connections we're able to make with others that makes it so worth while. Plus it's fun having an online diary... and my hand starts cramping if I try to write for too long. Typing is much easier!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this whole post, but this part really struck a chord with me:
ReplyDelete"I have days that I don't want to talk on the phone or shower or do my hair or makeup or smile or eat. I have days where I just want to live inside my computer, read your stories and forget about everything around me"
I think it is the introvert in me. That is why the BlogHer conference scares me. As much as I'd love to go, I'm just not sure if I'd fit in.